Dear Eddie

                           DEAR EDDIE

Dear Eddie is for entertainment purposes and not meant to replace therapy, couple's counseling, or for someone to shape their life's choices based upon the advice given.  Reader's discretion is advised.

Dear Eddie: Advice Department

Welcome to the first ever edition of Dear Eddie, the purpose of this column is to answer questions and give advice to those who are in need of it. However since this is the first article I don’t have any questions to answer yet, *SO* what I will do for all of you is give you some insight into one of the rumors going around.

It has come across my desk that there was a wolf man sighting in one of the residential blocks inside the city.

Well let me tell you- this rumor is completely false.

My nana lives in that building.  She’s a nice older lady and a novice herbalist.  Note I said novice.

I was talking to her shortly after the incident in question where this wolf man was sighted. She told me that she had been picking herbs in the forest.  She had a mix up with one of them and accidentally brought home a moss with hallucinogenic properties that became airborne in the steam when it was cooked. This caused some residents to see things that weren’t real.

I heard from those that inhaled it that they saw a wolf man, a man that was completely purple, a large bull man, and Elvis.

I can assure you all this was just a figment of the imagination powered by the effects of the moss. Nana apologizes profusely and promises to be much more careful next time; however her English is not so good and she lives like a hermit, so she can’t do this in person.

One more thing, wolf men do not exist. If that had really been a wolf man he would have eaten everyone on that floor. Neither do purple men in striped suits.

One more thing, bull men don’t exist either. If they did, there would be no shortage of real beef now, would there?

One more thing.  It is possible an Elvis impersonator was in that hallway.  Elvis impersonators are everywhere. It’s possible that a large hairy Elvis impersonator was confused for being a wolf man.

Now that this confusion has been debunked and cleaned up, I will wrap up my first installment of Dear Eddie with how you can contact me with your questions so I can dole out my Zen like advice.

Dear Eddie can be reached at deareddieadvicedept@gmail.com

((Yes this email functions and I will come up with answers to any questions I receive. If you want it to remain anonymous just say so at the top of the email.))